The struggle to "Be Real"

I have often wondered why some people can’t look others in the eye.  Or, why for years, I couldn’t either.  It’s not like we have a culture that stresses lowering the eyes out of respect.  For a long time, I figured it was because I was hiding some deep, dark secret.  Some great sin I’d committed.  What did I do wrong?  What was I hiding?  Digging for unknown crimes is a great way to invite trouble to your party, not solve the problem.

So why do we avoid eye contact?  Why do we feel the need to explain ourselves to certain people?  Or, say we have a difference with someone. Why does confrontation overly intimidate us?  I think that we are trying to hide what’s inside of us—our real side.  Not because it’s bad, maybe, but because we perceive it to not be enough.  It does not meet our or someone else’s expectations.  Sometimes we put expectations on ourselves.  But mostly, we care too much what others think.  We are afraid to rock the boat.

Excerpt from "Keep it Simple: Be Superficial."